A COVID-19 Journal Entry

I just finished my weekday work, and now I have my last run coming up. My paycheck was horrid due to the fact that I have exhausted my sick leave time. So, 30 hours was unpaid on this pay period. Half of what I normally get went into my account. Luckily, most of the bills were already paid.

That's the least of my worries. Keeping possibly-infected people from boarding my rolling petrie dish is impossible. Whatever "fogging" is done to "clean" our buses leaves streaks on the barriers, yet operators aren't allowed to string up a clear shower curtain for the ridiculous notion it could "be a safety hazard". I think looking through a Dollar Store shower curtain might be easier than seeing through a streaky barrier.

The barriers are another thing. Who thought a barrier that still allows a passenger to reach around it is much of a deterrent from assaults? It hasn't stopped people spitting at us, or throwing liquids, any number of attacks upon us while on the job. Even grocery store checkers enjoy a better shield between them and customers than we do. I love the UK's fully-enclosed operator's area. Now that's safety, folks!

Can't even look at FaceBook these days. So many operators everywhere falling victim to COVID-19. Luckily, Portland still has only one reported positive case among operators, and that driver is back at work! Still, we feel isolated and vulnerable as we shuttle those still working along with those who just ride for want of anything better to do.

Our union is largely silent except for frontline shop stewards, making back-door deals with management and thoroughly pissing off even their own officers. There is no dialogue between US and our union. I first wrote "effective dialogue", but when there's virtually nothing, ineffectiveness is implied.

There is more traffic each day. People are growing weary of "Stay at Home" especially given the 70-degree weather we've enjoyed the past week. Toilet paper is still a premium find. At least gasoline is cheaper! Liquor stores are doing a brisk business.

We stopped taking money for fares about three weeks ago, asking people to obtain a Hop Pass at local grocery stores. Instead, the same folks board showing a wad of cash (who does that? they nuckin' futs?), shrugging at the sign over the covered-up cash box and sauntering past. Others don't even bother and just walk past without even saying hello. They know the Fare Inspectors won't likely cite them given how many people are unemployed right now. I just hit "Fare Evasion" whenever someone doesn't pay. It's not worth arguing over, and I'm too damn tired to "inform" right now.

I heard an interesting interview on the radio earlier today. It was with a fellow whose job is to help people stay focused and try to be happy. He described normal fear as opposed to what we're experiencing now. This pandemic is new to everyone. The problem is that we are constantly waiting to see if or when we're infected with the virus. This is different from fearing what we know. The trick, he said, is to realize "I don't know what will happen next week, or even tomorrow. What is important is that I'm well and healthy today, and that's what we should focus on."

Yeah, okay. So far, so good. But that nagging feeling the virus is stalking me and waiting for that one vulnerable moment to infect me, coupled with the grief for transit workers falling victim worldwide, and worrying about my family and friends is what totally exhausts me. The simple rigors of driving a bus 55 hours a week and its associated aches pales in comparison to the stress.

Dad had it right though, and I channel him all the time. "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time," James Taylor wrote. "Have fun every day, no matter what," Dad said. Both are all that's keeping me going right now.

Be safe, folks. I'm trying.

db