Day 2.5: Frustration

May God bless our world as we all strive to live past
the demons which threaten to overtake our
collective vision of a better future.

Deke's Note: I'm so glad I didn't let go of this blog somewhere along the past few years when doubt replaced my hopes. Now, the stakes have quintupled for us all, and I feel a renewed passion to write truth to the transit I know. As an operator yes, but mostly as a family man who also cares deeply for those with whom I toil during this world-health crisis. My current series will hopefully become a joke for the future. For now, it is salient and imperative to write what I feel. 

The ambiguity of health professionals and our government has me  very frustrated. Why hasn't my son been tested? He just told me he feels "the same" as he did 24 hours ago. Sore throat, etc. Having been close to someone who tested positive, how do I know he isn't infected?

Sure, this virus isn't as deadly as it has been hyped up to be. Good grief... groceries ransacked by hoarders and terrorized by fist fights over God knows what, restaurants and bars shut down leaving thousands unemployed in Portland. What's next? Civil unrest leads to riots and disorder of who knows what. The next month or two here, and everywhere in the USA could get ugly. Really fast.

Our transit management remains incapable of taking action to ensure its front-line workers are safe. Some of my fellow union members have privately called for a "blue flu", but that's a suggestion punishable by suspension or even termination. To my comfort, I have seen posts that call for the "Priority Seating" areas being taped off to be ONLY seated by those using mobility devices. As it should be. This gives operators some breathing room in a bus that still allows every bug to slither through the front door.

My main complaint is that our "leaders" have failed us. Months ago, they should have taken extreme precautions to fight, contain and kill this COVID/COVFEFE-TeenyBopper. But they did not, and now our economy is fighting for its own life, we're scared and disoriented, life is in disarray. What the hell? The United States is supposed to be the LEADER of the free world, not the most at-risk country! No matter the politics which engulf our national divide, I expect better from our leaders. My eldest son is currently without a job in the restaurant industry because we allowed a simple virus to overtake our borders. He, and millions like him across our country, is scrambling to find a way to keep his bills paid. It's a dismal failure of leadership that we are under lockdown. Well, except for transit anyway.

A better spring awaits us; we just need to believe it.

Which leads me to the anger I feel for our "leadership" in management. Where is it? They have been eerily-quiet for nearly a week. It counseled its own staff to work from home wherever possible. WE cannot do that. The post I saw regarding the isolation in the Priority Seating area came from a fellow union member.

Thankfully, I just now read an email from Mr. Kelsey as I busily-keyed this post. He finally covered many of my concerns regarding our plight, which is greatly appreciated. His description of efforts to ensure our safety as well as our passengers is welcome after a nearly-six day silence is somewhat-soothing. He has secured a shipment of hand sanitizer to be distributed among us. (Does that include road-relief ops?) THANK YOU! The buses are being sanitized with greater scrutiny as they return from 20-hours-plus in service. A new "bus fogging device" is set to arrive later this week, whatever that is. Thanks, Mr. GM... we were beginning to wonder what the talking heads of transit were planning to help keep us safe. Maybe now I won't feel scared to return to my job.

My main concern is why our buses are not subject to intense cleaning practices as a general rule, every day after and during service. Given that we provide transit to over 300,000 riders each day via rail and bus, it should be a constant practice. I have been grossed out many a time when I relieve a bus and find the operator area in particular to be filthy. Each control we touch should be daily-sanitized, but they are not under normal circumstances. Hopefully, our Maintenance brothers and sisters have been instructed to take special precautions to ensure our biological safety. I know they are diligent about the mechanical health of our vehicles, but management should allow more time, and surely continue our Maintenance Apprenticeship Program to hire a steady flow of hard-working folks who dream of working their way up from the muck.

Constantly monitoring social media, I've seen our entire world turned upside down the past month. We're scared, angry and worried. About our loved ones, mostly. My son is young and strong, and will likely kick COVID's ass. But what about me and my Beloved?  I worry also for my fellow union members. Many of us are aging rapidly. Those of us addicted to nicotine are at risk, along with others who have cardio, auto-immune or respiratory challenges, along with family members they could possibly infect without knowing it.

We should all be more diligent about our life's choices, but hey... we deal with stress every day. Many of us choose the only-legal paths we know to soothe ourselves. We're not "bad", just addicted. Not like those who shoot-up on our rides and necessitate interaction upon their behalf.

We can't use THC or CBD to alleviate the pains our jobs assault us with. Still, we show up for work. We take Portland to a multitude of life's necessary travels. No matter the obstacles, we persevere. We are cursed, assaulted from within and publicly, our prescient needs ignored by the local media. Here for Portland, we simply wish our fellow citizens would be more vocal on our behalf. Many are, and we truly appreciate their support. But it's a tiny majority of those we transport.

Somehow, we'll forge a clean path through this disastrous moment in time. It will ultimately bring us together as we realize a common plight amongst us. Transit workers have seen many a political cabal pass through our collective time together, and our solidarity has led us through. This time, it's especially imperative we remember our commonality. Today, we're not Republican or Democrat or Independent or Other. We are PORTLAND, we are OREGON, we are AMERICANS. Collectively, solidified by our togetherness upon a constantly-forward path together. It's imperative to cast aside petty arguments and find connections which help each other. It's all we have to survive. I love you all, no matter whether we agree politically. It is up to US to lead here, given a lack of it within our local, state or national governments. WE are America, not the big money interests we kneel to upon the altar of that elusive, almighty dollar. When shit goes down, we'll help each other up no matter which political beliefs divide us.

Yeah, I'll probably mark off again today. I'm not feeling good. No telltale symptoms abide here. I'm simply worried about my wonderful wife and sons. I cannot operate safely under such fear. One son is under our roof and will always be fed and cared for. Another has been on his own over five years now but has been rendered jobless. We'll feed and love him as we always have. It's what we do as a family, without reservation. Hopefully, I'll remain healthy enough to guarantee this reality for several more years.

Be safe, my fellows. If you have a constant headache, sore throat or dry cough, mark off your shift and rely upon your union-won health benefits. Take care of yourselves first and foremost, for that ensures the health of your loved ones as well as those we faithfully serve. Transit is important to our community, but it cannot exist without US. WE are Portland transit, incredibly-vital to everyone who rides.

Thank you for your service, and remember Deke is in your corner. Do not hesitate to contact me, for I will always respond. It may take a while, but your words are holy to me. I am YOURS, and you are my constant strength. I could not do this job without your support.

Roll safe and keep all six on the road.

With respect, I am
Deke N. Blue