My 'Positive Thought of the Day' Update

Being a grumpy bus operator can be injurious, especially if you piss off the wrong person. I've been kicked, spit at, cursed, called every name you can imagine. Anyone reading here who has done this job can relate. However, there have been times when my overall attitude might have prevented abuse. It's easy to allow the stress of this job dictate my own behavior. After all, it is one of, if not the most, stressful jobs one can do. One moment you may feel fine and the next you find all rational thought and patience has flown out the side window. An insult or rude action can quickly provoke one who suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. From the initial contact, a point of no return can be instantaneous.

Unless they have done our job, many in management have no idea what it's like to be constantly in fear of an attack. We hear all this corporate bullshit on "de-escalation techniques" and "keeping your cool" but have little or no real training. We're not psychiatrists or psychologists but are expected to deal with the nuttiest branch on the human tree. After a while, we lose any ability we may have once had to cooly deal with potentially-violent passengers. In our mind, once verbally-assailed, we're in self-defense mode. The body's mechanism is called "Fight or Flight Syndrome" but management ignores it and expects us to be sugary and sweet, even though our antagonist might just have a .45 or 10-inch blade under their outer wear.

Prolonged periods of stress can turn a once-jovial bus operator into a snarling, drooling wildebeast in the time it takes a traffic light to change. Unless you have developed intense superpowers when dealing with stress, no amount of training is powerful enough to overcome PTSD. Over the past year, I've found myself often very surly, pouncing on the smallest insult to my tenuous equilibrium. If you know me personally, I'm sure you can tell that's not my normal demeanor. Usually, I'm the first to forgive a slight and truly sorry if I offend someone. Hugs, when allowed, are my chosen form of greeting. If we hit it off when I meet you, rest assured I will grow to love you and treat you as such.

Feeling very upset lately with the hardest part of my job (my greatest joy in former professions), working with the public, I was desperately searching for some catalyst to soothe and rebuild that relationship. Tommy Transit reached out a few weeks ago and we have quickly developed a trusting bond in which he is leading me away from the shadows. I'm still prone to quick temper, but I've taken the first step in reconnecting with those I serve.

* * * * *

The first day on my new path, I was very nervous. I do tend to have a little fun on the Public Address system, but it's usually short-lived. For the past three days, it has been more involved. On Monday, when I had a few minutes of drive time between stops, I keyed up the mic.

"Hello Portland!" I bellowed perhaps a bit too loudly. A few people visibly jumped. (Roops, I thought, and pushed the mic back a few inches. "Sorry about that initial outburst, but I'm really excited to introduce a new feature to you all: Deke's Positive Thought for the Day."

Silence.

I was truly on stage now; ready to bounce, flop or ooze onto the floor like the stains left by empty beer bottles and spilled mocha lattes. A moment of stage fright took hold, but I shook it off. It was go-time for this grand experiment and I was fully-committed.

"This one has been with me since the beginning of my adult life," I resumed. "In fact, it has propelled me whenever I've set out to do what others have said I couldn't. Augh! Don't ever let someone tell you your dreams are impossible! Nonsense! This quote was penned by Richard Bach, who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull, one of my most favorite inspirational stories. So without further ado, here it is:

"You are never given a wish, without also being given the power to make it come true."

To my great surprise and delight, someone began to clap. A moment later, most of my passengers were applauding. At first I was sure they were clapping for Mr. Bach. Then, some of them were discussing how some of their other bus operators were fun, interesting or constantly grumpy. As several of them exited at their stops, they smiled and thanked me. With this signup just over a week from ending, I had finally made more than a few special connections with my rush-hour crowd. It felt extremely uplifting, and that remained with me the rest of my shift.

People that evening were complimentary, chatty and for once, not as hypnotized by their cell phones. It was if we had gone back in time to the days of auld when folks actually enjoyed having conversations with complete strangers.

See? Just a little change in my modus operandi created a vastly-different environment in my rolling office.

On Tuesday, I plucked Neil Armstrong's folded-up quote out of my Oban hat.

"I believe every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine."

This one netted silence. Actually, my high school crowd that afternoon reacted more positively than the adults. It is from them I hope to get a bit more reaction, because of their penchant for dismissively ignoring me as they board.

Oscar Wilde"s statue in Dublin, Ireland

Today's Oscar Wilde's statement of individuality  needed little introduction, so I kept it short and sweet. Noting how I truly admired the statue of Wilde in Dublin overlooking his home there when I visited last year, I asked the students to take special heed of it. They are in the heyday of forming what type of person they want to be, and I remember being a teenager and wanting to "stick out" above the crowd.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

While the initial reaction each of the four readings was quiet, a few people left with a nod of "thanks for the quote".

There are 15 more to go, and I'll be on my spring route before this well runs dry. If the experiment continues to be so well-received, perhaps it will become as solidified in my routine as The Mantra. I hope it does.

(Thanks Tommy!)