Wednesday, September 23, 2015

My Butt Hurts

Dad was right. He told me when I smart-assed him one day as a teenager that all he did was "sit all day", that I would find out someday how tiring it can be. Yeah, he was right all right. My butt after an 8-hour shift is so sore I can't sleep on my back. Which is a good thing because Mrs. Blue says I snore like a backhoe.

There are things out there however, which make me smile, cheer and generally forget about my pain in the ass from time to time. Today on the downtown transit mall, another Washington driver was in the bus service lane for several blocks. I beeped at him and opened the door when he rolled down his window.

"Sir, do you see the signs up above that say 'No Turns' and the ones on the street that say BUS ONLY?"

"No, I didn't. And I don't care." Window goes back up. Smug little prick.

So he blithely continues down the service lane with me bearing down on him, trying to pull up to the stop to discharge and board passengers. Evidently this prompts him to look at the multiple signs instructing drivers how to behave on this street, and he swerves in front of two cars to get into the auto lane before anyone else can get to the red light ahead of him.


Later, heading the opposite direction on the mall, I see another Washington driver in the Transit Lane I'm trying to merge back into after a stop. This time, I see a cop in the auto lane. I motion to cop as in, "See? Can't you help me out here?"

Cop flicks on his blue and reds, pulls into Transit Lane behind the offender. Driver turns right, directly in front of me and beneath the "NO TURNS" sign, with cop right on his bumper. Cop turns on his siren, pulls Mr. Ignoramus over and cites him (I hope).


So there is some yin and yang out there. Poetic justice. But hey, it's the first time I've seen a cop pull someone over on our transit mall for breaking the law! The first time. That's pretty incredible, after years of doing this.

Like I've said before, the city's coffers would be overflowing if the cops staked out the Transit Mall. On bikes, horseback, in cars, or on their silly-looking upright doo-hickies (I always forget what they're called)... the cops could catch hundreds of dumbasses every day breaking the laws of the road, writing tickets left and right. In fact, if I hadn't pointed out that offender, the cop would have just let it ride. I see that all the time, along with yield-light ignoring cops themselves.

I just wish I could have heard the conversation between the cop and motorist. It might have gone just like this:

Motorist: "Sorry officer, I'm from Seattle."

Cop: "Don't they spell 'Bus Only' the same up there?"

Here's your sign.


  1. Cops have been instructed not to enforce the transit mall rules. Basically because there are so many tourists driving down there and they don't want anybody going home and telling bad tales about the shining city. True fact

  2. That is a true fact. Heard that (no tickets) from a Road Super when they opened the "new" transit mall.